Posts
Making intimacy real and using body language to show it
Okay - first I'm going to list the 12 steps of intimacy... then we can discuss each one in a bit more detail.
1 - Eye to body contact
2 - Eye to eye contact
3 - Voice to voice contact
4 - Hand to hand contact
5 - Arm to shoulder contact
6 - Arm to waist contact
7 - Mouth to mouth
8 - Hand to head
9 - Hand to body
10 - Mouth to breast
11 - Hand to genital
12 - Genital to genital
Now, some of them are pretty self explanatory, but some of them are not really talked about, and when they are missing, they can make the intimacy in your book seem not real. And yes, I think they translate well to LGBT - I associate mouth to breast to basically mean mouth to body.
I think every one of us has read a book where the attraction or sexual tension in the book didn't "feel" real or seemed too bland for any romance to take place. Right?
Even a one night stand starts off with the stare across the room, buying a drink and talking, brushing fingers, then working up to leaving together. Sometimes it goes very quickly, and sometimes it takes months, but the stages have to be worked out.
If the author follows the rules too closely, or they do the motions without the emotions - either way it comes out sounding like a sex manual. It won't read like real intimacy without the right body language along with emotional involvement.
You have to give the motions, then show how it makes them feel - if they don't feel anything, ICK!! Think about it - when the motions happen and the emotions don't, what are some of the results... prostitution...rape...being forced into it by circumstances, which is just another type of prostitution or rape... the emotions must match the actions.
My opinion is that what we write is erotic romance, not erotica, and any romance needs the emotions. The only difference between erotic romance and romance is that romance "formulas" use the almost having sex and being pulled apart to ramp up the tension, and erotic romance goes into detail and uses sex acts to ramp up the tension. Other than that, they are the same. Erotica has its place - it's sex for the release of sex. But that's not really what we do, in my opinion. Sex for sex's sake is fine, but it's not something I want to spend a lot of time reading. Romance I can read all day every day.
I'm going to recommend two books for reference: Susie Bright's How to Write a Dirty Story and Angela Knight's Passionate Ink: A Guide to Writing Erotic Romance.
I think sex for sex's sake can be good, or it can be not so good, but I really think if either of the characters is in it just for sex, it won't work well as romance. Even though we are writing erotic romance, it has the same rules. Readers have to like the woman and the man, or the man and the man, or the man and the woman and the man, and if they jump in and out of bed with others too easily, or they cheat on each other, the reader won't respect them.
I don't know how much a reader can care about "players" per se. There are writers out there who call their work "romance" but who most readers see as erotica, and it's because they break the rules, they have married, even unhappily married, folks screwing around, or they have men who sleep around a lot, and the books can sell, but I don't think they are romance. And that's just my opinion...as a reader. I don't enjoy those stories. But that's just me. Those stories have their place, and I do read them on occasion, but I don't spend money week after week to buy them, and that's what you want your reader to do.
Do I see a difference between "players" and those who enjoy sex as fun/recreation? Yes, but both would be problematic as characters, I think. A "player" is more strategic or manipulative about it, but either way many readers would see them as lacking morals. Even readers who love erotic romance, even kinky erotic romance, want their heroes and heroines to have morals. But the characters can be very experienced - I think the attitude about it makes all the difference.
If you have a male character who has multiple relationships with little respect for the women, and he talks about his experience to his friends, they joke around, he's a player and not a hero. If you take the same amount of experience and he's quiet about it, he cares in some small way even about the woman and breaks it off when he starts to not care, it's seen differently. It's one of the longest used and most loved formulas for romantic stories of all - the reformed rake. And sometimes he goes into the situation not caring a lot, but not insensitive either, but once he sees the other side, he does the right thing. Anyone read Kathleen Woodiwiss? She was a master at the reformed rake story.
Brandon Birmingham in The Flame and the Flower - considered the book that started it all. He started off picking her up as a hooker, and she doesn't fight him because she thinks he's the law after her for murder. It starts as basically a rape, but once he's shown the real situation, he does the right thing, like it or not, and they end up in love. The basic personality of the character has to have redeeming qualities - no one can fall in love with someone they don't respect.
Nowadays, most people don't expect virgins on their wedding night, and that's totally okay, but no one really wants to marry a hooker, either. It can work, and antiheroes can have redeeming qualities, or you can have a "player" who is changed by unexpected love - I'm not saying anything is impossible, but it's a really rare and special situation that is very difficult to write well enough for your readers to want to go along for the ride with you.
Okay, eye to body and eye to eye and voice to voice - anyone have any questions about those first three steps and why they are important? Eye to body is seeing someone we're attracted to. When we make eye contact, we realize it's mutual. And voice to voice we talk and see if the brain and ideas and voice back up the attraction. Think of them as seeing the quarry, mutually agreeing on the attraction, and finding out if the sound and thoughts are as attractive as the outside.
Next is hand to hand - the first skin to skin contact - crucial. It allows both parties to become physically aware of how things are progressing, and yet both can still back out at this point without anyone being hurt. So if one touches the other, and the other doesn't welcome the touch, it can all be over without a problem. It can be other than hand to hand, but it has to be deliberate, but casual. You want to create strong emotion with simple gestures.
Next is arm to shoulder - friends put arms around each other all the time, so there's still room for backing out, and it can still be seen to be casual contact but moving forward. Then is arm to waist - a man will not put his arm around the waist of another heterosexual man, so when a man puts his arm around a woman's waist, or another man's waist, it's seen as claim-staking in a way that is thousands of years old. It's also the last casual stage toward intimacy.
Now, a man might put his arm around the waist of a woman he is not attracted to, a family member, a close friend, but it's always someone he feels some sort of intimacy or closeness to. I don't think the sex of the people involved matters at this point - think of it like this - when someone has their arm around your shoulder, your arm is still between your body and theirs, so you can throw it off and you are still protected from an intimate touch. But if someone puts their hand on your waist, it's under your arm and an intimate touch is possible. You are either trusting them not to take liberties you haven't allowed, or you are allowing them liberties. It is my opinion that here is where the line is drawn between intimate friends and a pairing. So if things progress past this, the "look" and "feel" of the relationship should change. If the relationship is not prepared to deepen, it shouldn't go past here.
Next is mouth to mouth - kissing and full frontal embracing, a major step forward.
Then hand to head - believe it or not, we do not let people we don't trust touch our heads, in most situations, so you have to be careful with that.
Next is hand to body. The woman can still call a halt to intimacy, even just as a breather, but a man will not call a halt at this point if she does not.
Then mouth to body/breast - from this point, interruption is the only thing that will stop them, and tends to make one or both of them a bit testy. And at this point, rational thinking is difficult.
Then hand to genital - something important - we tend to spend a lot of words on this stage of foreplay, and I think it's because we understand this is a terribly important doorway, and a ton of trust is involved, especially when your characters include one person who is very vulnerable in some way. If you aren't spending a lot of time on this stage, you might want to really think about that because it's a very important time in a romance.
Then is genital to genital, which is pretty self-explanatory. But keep in mind several things that need to be understood and considered at this point, depending of course on the gender of the couple involved. Fist is the possibility of fertilization - it must be considered. This action cements the bond. And full frontal contact is unique in the animal world to imprint the identity of the partner on the other. And also emotional ties are created and cemented, and repeated sex acts after this move the relationship from making love to being in love.
If you have any questions, please ask.
Kudzu
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
What is Your Core Story?
Every writer, heck everyone, has a core story. Your core story is made up of all of the experiences and joys and sorrows you've lived through, and with each one your core story is narrowed down more and more, honed until it's sharp and clear. That core story is who you are, what story you have to tell the world, your voice, your vision.
If you look at any author's books, they almost always tell the same story over and over without sounding the same. They almost always have the same core story to tell. Some authors write about acceptance, some write about rescue, or finding a protector, some write about second chances, but every writer has something they, perhaps subconsciously, want to tell the world.
Knowing your core story, what it is that keeps you writing, what idea or concept or belief it is that you want to impart, is what gives you voice and style and meaning. And as you grow to learn more about that core story, to consciously use it rather than subconsciously letting it push you willy-nilly, to understand yourself more and become more "true" to it, you will find your writing will flow better and you'll recognize when you get off track and why.
If you don't yet know, or more accurately recognize, your core story, look at your books. In your books, what were the goals of the characters? What motivated them? What were the conflicts and by what means did you resolve them? Look at each story carefully and you'll begin to see a common thread running through each one. Look very carefully because sometimes the core story may be masquerading as another core, but overall you should be able to see it. If you can't, ask your editor or ask a good friend you trust. Figuring out what that common thread is can be huge in learning who you are as a writer, where you want to go, and what it is you want to say.
Even if you are writing formula romance, with a determined theme, expected content like erotica or sweet, and a HEA or HFN ending, you still can rearrange that story to fit your core story. For example, say your publisher asks you to contribute to a holiday-themed set of stories, and you must write about a soldier with a happy ever after ending. One writer might choose to write a story about a soldier who goes off to war and almost gets killed, and realizes that girl he left behind is the one for him - second chance story. One author might write a story about a soldier who is wounded and loses a leg, comes home and has pretty much written himself off and fallen into a deep depression. Then he meets someone he falls in love with, but he has to clean his life up and woo them, become the person worthy of their love - transformation. And another writer might choose to write a story about a soldier who comes home and while he's trying to decide whether to stay in or get out of the military, he becomes embroiled in a neighbor's dispute with her ex-husband and ends up saving her life, falling in love with her, and they live happily ever after - rescue story. The framework of the series gives you the characters and the ending, but it says nothing about what route you choose to get there - your unique core story, your voice, will make those choices.
Some might say that over-analysis isn't necessary, that it's okay to go merrily along writing stories without thinking too much about why your write and where you are going. I disagree. Your voice, your core story, is what makes you who you are as a writer. Your fans, your readers, will come to expect certain things of you, and revealing that core story is how they know your writing from all the other writers out there. Just because you write rescue stories doesn't mean your stories are going to be like any other author who writes rescue stories. Every single author writing rescue stories has their own unique view of the world, their own unique spin, and that uniqueness is what will draw their fans to them. If you aren't aware of what you are giving to your readers, how will you continue to satisfy them?
Also think of this - say you are going merrily along, about half-way through your story, and all of a sudden you are stopped dead in your tracks by a plot issue, or character issue - this character simply will not do what you want them to do no matter what you try, or no matter which way you twist the plot, it's just not right. How do you fix it? What tells you what is right and what is wrong? I think every single writer has a story or two you just can't seem to finish - nothing fits and it just won't work out. I believe that's because we are trying to write outside of our core story - we aren't being true to ourselves and our brain knows it. In most circumstances, your core story will tell you what is wrong, where you got off course, what you need to fix. When you lose touch with that core story is when things normally go wrong, and when you figure out where you lost touch with it is where you can figure you got off track and fix it.
Here are a few examples of core stories: in acceptance stories, the characters are trying to find their place in life, their "home." They usually end up having to leave what they know to be safe and secure and go out into the dangerous world and find where they need to go.
Second chance stories are stories in which one or both of the characters get the chance to go back and fix or address a situation they failed at, or ignored, in the past, like finally telling someone at a high school reunion you had a crush on them all those years ago and finding out they had one on you too, and ending up together. In transformation stories, two people meet and fall in love, but either one of them, or both, have some changing to do in order to make the romance work, so there comes a point where they realize a change must be made, then they make it. In a crusade or quest story, the story is about the journey the character(s) go on to find something of value to them, like the Indiana Jones stories. In a healing story, you have one or more wounded characters who find their healing within in the story, either with a person or place or job or whatever. Protector stories are those in which someone assumes responsibility for something or someone else, and they can also be a story where a mentor teaches someone to stand on their own and then accepts the fact they no longer need protection.
If you think about it, you will recognize your most beloved authors have/had a core story. Some authors are known for writing flawed and tortured and wounded heros - those authors write healing stories and Laura Kinsale is a good example. Some authors are known for writing great stories where the alpha male swoops in and saves the heroine - author Kathleen Woodiwiss wrote terrific rescue stories that are still some of the all-time favorites stories of many readers, and Linda Howard still writes them but with a bit more contemporary viewpoint.
Many of the most popular BDSM stories are ones where the hero introduces the heroine to some form of BDSM and brings out needs she wasn't aware she had, or wouldn't admit - these are great transformation stories. For the most part, those authors who are successful and develop huge followings are authors who have figured out their core story, what it is about that core story that appeals to their fans the most, and they stick with it so the fans keep coming back. That builds a career.
Do I believe a writer can tell a story that is not their core? Can an author whose core story is acceptance write a quest story? Absolutely. But I also believe there will be themes of acceptance in that story, too - that core is what is true to you, what "lesson" you feel the driving need to teach the world. I think every author has something they want to tell the world, a story or a lesson or something, and figuring out what it is that you want to say is critical to being happy as a writer. If you never seem to be able to tell your story, how happy will you be in the end?
If you never figure out what your core story is, why it is you are writing and what it is you are struggling to say, I don't think you as a writer will be happy with anything you accomplish. And if you do figure out what it is you are trying to say, it becomes much more easy to plot out and tell that tale every time. Every story can be totally different in theme and character and plot, but the underlying core will remain strong as long as you remain true to that core inside you that makes you write.
Happy Writing!!
Georgia
If you look at any author's books, they almost always tell the same story over and over without sounding the same. They almost always have the same core story to tell. Some authors write about acceptance, some write about rescue, or finding a protector, some write about second chances, but every writer has something they, perhaps subconsciously, want to tell the world.
Knowing your core story, what it is that keeps you writing, what idea or concept or belief it is that you want to impart, is what gives you voice and style and meaning. And as you grow to learn more about that core story, to consciously use it rather than subconsciously letting it push you willy-nilly, to understand yourself more and become more "true" to it, you will find your writing will flow better and you'll recognize when you get off track and why.
If you don't yet know, or more accurately recognize, your core story, look at your books. In your books, what were the goals of the characters? What motivated them? What were the conflicts and by what means did you resolve them? Look at each story carefully and you'll begin to see a common thread running through each one. Look very carefully because sometimes the core story may be masquerading as another core, but overall you should be able to see it. If you can't, ask your editor or ask a good friend you trust. Figuring out what that common thread is can be huge in learning who you are as a writer, where you want to go, and what it is you want to say.
Even if you are writing formula romance, with a determined theme, expected content like erotica or sweet, and a HEA or HFN ending, you still can rearrange that story to fit your core story. For example, say your publisher asks you to contribute to a holiday-themed set of stories, and you must write about a soldier with a happy ever after ending. One writer might choose to write a story about a soldier who goes off to war and almost gets killed, and realizes that girl he left behind is the one for him - second chance story. One author might write a story about a soldier who is wounded and loses a leg, comes home and has pretty much written himself off and fallen into a deep depression. Then he meets someone he falls in love with, but he has to clean his life up and woo them, become the person worthy of their love - transformation. And another writer might choose to write a story about a soldier who comes home and while he's trying to decide whether to stay in or get out of the military, he becomes embroiled in a neighbor's dispute with her ex-husband and ends up saving her life, falling in love with her, and they live happily ever after - rescue story. The framework of the series gives you the characters and the ending, but it says nothing about what route you choose to get there - your unique core story, your voice, will make those choices.
Some might say that over-analysis isn't necessary, that it's okay to go merrily along writing stories without thinking too much about why your write and where you are going. I disagree. Your voice, your core story, is what makes you who you are as a writer. Your fans, your readers, will come to expect certain things of you, and revealing that core story is how they know your writing from all the other writers out there. Just because you write rescue stories doesn't mean your stories are going to be like any other author who writes rescue stories. Every single author writing rescue stories has their own unique view of the world, their own unique spin, and that uniqueness is what will draw their fans to them. If you aren't aware of what you are giving to your readers, how will you continue to satisfy them?
Also think of this - say you are going merrily along, about half-way through your story, and all of a sudden you are stopped dead in your tracks by a plot issue, or character issue - this character simply will not do what you want them to do no matter what you try, or no matter which way you twist the plot, it's just not right. How do you fix it? What tells you what is right and what is wrong? I think every single writer has a story or two you just can't seem to finish - nothing fits and it just won't work out. I believe that's because we are trying to write outside of our core story - we aren't being true to ourselves and our brain knows it. In most circumstances, your core story will tell you what is wrong, where you got off course, what you need to fix. When you lose touch with that core story is when things normally go wrong, and when you figure out where you lost touch with it is where you can figure you got off track and fix it.
Here are a few examples of core stories: in acceptance stories, the characters are trying to find their place in life, their "home." They usually end up having to leave what they know to be safe and secure and go out into the dangerous world and find where they need to go.
Second chance stories are stories in which one or both of the characters get the chance to go back and fix or address a situation they failed at, or ignored, in the past, like finally telling someone at a high school reunion you had a crush on them all those years ago and finding out they had one on you too, and ending up together. In transformation stories, two people meet and fall in love, but either one of them, or both, have some changing to do in order to make the romance work, so there comes a point where they realize a change must be made, then they make it. In a crusade or quest story, the story is about the journey the character(s) go on to find something of value to them, like the Indiana Jones stories. In a healing story, you have one or more wounded characters who find their healing within in the story, either with a person or place or job or whatever. Protector stories are those in which someone assumes responsibility for something or someone else, and they can also be a story where a mentor teaches someone to stand on their own and then accepts the fact they no longer need protection.
If you think about it, you will recognize your most beloved authors have/had a core story. Some authors are known for writing flawed and tortured and wounded heros - those authors write healing stories and Laura Kinsale is a good example. Some authors are known for writing great stories where the alpha male swoops in and saves the heroine - author Kathleen Woodiwiss wrote terrific rescue stories that are still some of the all-time favorites stories of many readers, and Linda Howard still writes them but with a bit more contemporary viewpoint.
Many of the most popular BDSM stories are ones where the hero introduces the heroine to some form of BDSM and brings out needs she wasn't aware she had, or wouldn't admit - these are great transformation stories. For the most part, those authors who are successful and develop huge followings are authors who have figured out their core story, what it is about that core story that appeals to their fans the most, and they stick with it so the fans keep coming back. That builds a career.
Do I believe a writer can tell a story that is not their core? Can an author whose core story is acceptance write a quest story? Absolutely. But I also believe there will be themes of acceptance in that story, too - that core is what is true to you, what "lesson" you feel the driving need to teach the world. I think every author has something they want to tell the world, a story or a lesson or something, and figuring out what it is that you want to say is critical to being happy as a writer. If you never seem to be able to tell your story, how happy will you be in the end?
If you never figure out what your core story is, why it is you are writing and what it is you are struggling to say, I don't think you as a writer will be happy with anything you accomplish. And if you do figure out what it is you are trying to say, it becomes much more easy to plot out and tell that tale every time. Every story can be totally different in theme and character and plot, but the underlying core will remain strong as long as you remain true to that core inside you that makes you write.
Happy Writing!!
Georgia
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Characters & Dialogue
What is the most important thing to remember about characterization and how your reader sees your characters?
It's show not tell - your character should always reveal who they are and what they stand for by action and dialogue, by what they do and what they say, not by telling. Your characters also have to be "real" in that they are both human and rounded, not cardboard cutouts.
One of the first things you do in your book is establish your characters and their conflicts, show their human side, what they need to overcome, and show them as sympathetic but human people. You can have this tough killer-type alpha male that in the beginning seems like a stone cold killer, then show him moving a kitten out of the way of a battle and show a small hint that all is not what it seems.
Or you can have a heroine that is shown in prim and proper business attire, every hair in place, coldly firing multiple people in a business, cutting pay, etc., then have her turn to walk away and someone glimpse a tear on her cheek when she thinks no one is looking, so the reader gets a glimpse of who she really is, and that she's not as "cold" as she seems. then not only do they feel sympathy for her and the position she's in, they want to know what caused a nice person to be in that situation to begin with. Then they want to see her get someone special who understands her and loves her. It intrigues them to see what happened, what caused it, and what will fix it.
It is crucial for the reader to connect to the character and care about them. You have to make sure the things you reveal about that character are acceptable to the reader. They have to have flaws and special qualities, skills and talents, things they do well and things they don't, in other words act like real people
The basis for all fiction is conflict, so every character should have conflicting ideas and thoughts, every book has to have conflict, every part/scene has to have conflict. The very best stories are created from situation where someone has to work very hard and almost lose everything in order to get their happy ending. And the characters have to be seen by the reader to deserve it. They have to go through hell, admit and face up to their shortcomings, which is never easy for anyone, and come to the place where they are willing to give up everything to have that thing they need more than anything else, and that's love.
You also always have to have failure a very real possibility, and the consequences to be extremely dire. Who wants to read a story about mundane daily occurrences? Yes, letting the car run out of gas has consequences but we've all done it. But what if we run out of gas while flying down the road with a car full of mafia killers behind us? Much more important.
I think the best stories happen when you have characters who are not only challenging an exterior conflict, like a bad guy, but who are also challenging themselves, their own ideas of who they are. And the best scenes are where those characters confront a darker part of themselves, and then make a choice. Or maybe they have to give up something, some part of themselves they felt was important, but then they learn something, or someone else, is more important, and they have to let go of that part.
I also believe if characters are perfect, they are boring. We don't care about people who get everything they want without having to work for it. But we almost always care about the underdog. Being the underdog in a fight is not the same as being stupid, even if the underdog knows they are going to lose. Those circumstances make up some of the most powerful characters. There are things out there that we'd go into battle for even knowing we are going to lose, and those are the things that people want to read about. I mean, how many have heard about mothers standing up against unbelievable odds to protect their children? Even knowing they'll lose, they have no choice, and there are very few who would not feel for that mom and be rooting for her.
So what if you have a great story, but the character is not working? Or what if the characters are great, but the scenes feel "off", the plot and the way you have the characters working out their problems isn't working. You have to figure out why it's not working. Is it because they don't have multiple sides? Or they seem one thing but are really another and you aren't letting that other side show? I think if you go back to what it is you are hoping to accomplish with that character, and then look at how you are setting the character up to do that, you will at some point see why it doesn't work.
Every character has a reason for being in the story, and if the character is not accomplishing what they were meant to do, there has to be a reason why. maybe that character has the wrong personality to do the thing the story is asking him to do. Maybe you have a couple who aren't clicking, who are not working out. How do you know when you've picked the wrong girl? My suggestion would be to get down to why you picked her as his match. Look at his motivations and his goals and what it is he needs, not what he thinks he needs, and see if maybe you have set her up as someone who doesn't fit those needs and goals. If they aren't butting heads, it won't work.
It's like the character in an upcoming book I'm editing about a warrior woman - she's alone for so long because none of the men are worthy of her. She doesn't exactly say it with those words or that attitude, but I know what she means. I believe it would be impossible for me to love a man I can't respect and look up to, and if I can kick their butt, sorry, I'm not interested. Most women would feel the same way. But say you have a woman who is a better warrior paired with a man who is a wizard with awesome powers and intellect, but whom she doesn't seem to respect because she can win a physical battle with him? How would you work them out? Maybe you have her being the physical one and him being the brains one, which can lead to resentment on both sides, and also some delicious conflict. Maybe he needs stronger magic to counteract that physical weaker stance. Maybe something needs to happen where she sees all the passion and physical power in the world is useless without direction and control. There are all kinds of really cool directions you could take a story about a man teaching a very strong woman about control.
Okay, dialogue...
The biggest thing about dialogue is that in fiction, actions speak louder than words, but the dialogue is the life of the book. That's where you see a good book become great, and where you can also see a good book get killed by bad dialogue.
Angela Knight said something one time that kinda stuck with me when I read it... it's that we as writers are actors in our own heads, we're putting on plays in our heads, then typing them onto paper to share with others. So as we're adding dialogue, remember to have your "actor" constantly asking "What's my motivation?" Why are they saying what they are saying and when they are saying it? Your word choices can sound like lazy drawling chitchat over coffee, but every single word shows something about that character that's important, and you can't forget that.
Words are extremely important - word choices are crucial, and expressions can do your characterizations a huge disservice or hit a home run. For example... You have a group of people who witness a car accident. Every single one of them saw the same thing, but the way they express it will be different depending on who they are, what they do, and even where they were raised.
I might say, "Wow, that pickup knocked that Lexus into next week! Reckon anyone's hurt?"
One of my detective buddies might say, "Hmm...the number one vehicle ran the signal and hit the number two vehicle."
A child might notice colors and shapes and things they are used to picking out.
A cowboy might say, "That yokel just ruined a good pickup truck - git a rope."
They need to speak naturally, and their dialogue must be written taking into consideration who they are. You must also take who they are into consideration when writing their body movements, stance and posture. An ex-military man might stand ramrod straight, and be expected to be a bit anal about his things being in the correct place and in good repair. A cop might be slow to join into conversation, wary when it comes to meeting new people, and very conscious about his surroundings. A female computer tech might have her eyes immediately drawn to whatever computer or other technology is in the room, and might be a gadget freak, etc. A female medical professional might notice things about someone's looks that others wouldn't, like the fact their color is a bit bluer than normal or their breathing was a bit fast, might pay more attention to someone's comfort and notice when they are upset first.
So remember - characters are more than their sum parts. Characters should be like real people, they have past sorrows and triumphs, past friends and losses, lessons they've learned, training they've been through, and all of it has added up into the person they are in the story. You as an author are not going to be telling their whole history - that would make for a boring book. But you can never forget that all of that history makes them who they are, it affects how they react, how they see the world, how they speak, and you must let those things show in order for them to be believable.
What do you think is important about characters?
It's show not tell - your character should always reveal who they are and what they stand for by action and dialogue, by what they do and what they say, not by telling. Your characters also have to be "real" in that they are both human and rounded, not cardboard cutouts.
One of the first things you do in your book is establish your characters and their conflicts, show their human side, what they need to overcome, and show them as sympathetic but human people. You can have this tough killer-type alpha male that in the beginning seems like a stone cold killer, then show him moving a kitten out of the way of a battle and show a small hint that all is not what it seems.
Or you can have a heroine that is shown in prim and proper business attire, every hair in place, coldly firing multiple people in a business, cutting pay, etc., then have her turn to walk away and someone glimpse a tear on her cheek when she thinks no one is looking, so the reader gets a glimpse of who she really is, and that she's not as "cold" as she seems. then not only do they feel sympathy for her and the position she's in, they want to know what caused a nice person to be in that situation to begin with. Then they want to see her get someone special who understands her and loves her. It intrigues them to see what happened, what caused it, and what will fix it.
It is crucial for the reader to connect to the character and care about them. You have to make sure the things you reveal about that character are acceptable to the reader. They have to have flaws and special qualities, skills and talents, things they do well and things they don't, in other words act like real people
The basis for all fiction is conflict, so every character should have conflicting ideas and thoughts, every book has to have conflict, every part/scene has to have conflict. The very best stories are created from situation where someone has to work very hard and almost lose everything in order to get their happy ending. And the characters have to be seen by the reader to deserve it. They have to go through hell, admit and face up to their shortcomings, which is never easy for anyone, and come to the place where they are willing to give up everything to have that thing they need more than anything else, and that's love.
You also always have to have failure a very real possibility, and the consequences to be extremely dire. Who wants to read a story about mundane daily occurrences? Yes, letting the car run out of gas has consequences but we've all done it. But what if we run out of gas while flying down the road with a car full of mafia killers behind us? Much more important.
I think the best stories happen when you have characters who are not only challenging an exterior conflict, like a bad guy, but who are also challenging themselves, their own ideas of who they are. And the best scenes are where those characters confront a darker part of themselves, and then make a choice. Or maybe they have to give up something, some part of themselves they felt was important, but then they learn something, or someone else, is more important, and they have to let go of that part.
I also believe if characters are perfect, they are boring. We don't care about people who get everything they want without having to work for it. But we almost always care about the underdog. Being the underdog in a fight is not the same as being stupid, even if the underdog knows they are going to lose. Those circumstances make up some of the most powerful characters. There are things out there that we'd go into battle for even knowing we are going to lose, and those are the things that people want to read about. I mean, how many have heard about mothers standing up against unbelievable odds to protect their children? Even knowing they'll lose, they have no choice, and there are very few who would not feel for that mom and be rooting for her.
So what if you have a great story, but the character is not working? Or what if the characters are great, but the scenes feel "off", the plot and the way you have the characters working out their problems isn't working. You have to figure out why it's not working. Is it because they don't have multiple sides? Or they seem one thing but are really another and you aren't letting that other side show? I think if you go back to what it is you are hoping to accomplish with that character, and then look at how you are setting the character up to do that, you will at some point see why it doesn't work.
Every character has a reason for being in the story, and if the character is not accomplishing what they were meant to do, there has to be a reason why. maybe that character has the wrong personality to do the thing the story is asking him to do. Maybe you have a couple who aren't clicking, who are not working out. How do you know when you've picked the wrong girl? My suggestion would be to get down to why you picked her as his match. Look at his motivations and his goals and what it is he needs, not what he thinks he needs, and see if maybe you have set her up as someone who doesn't fit those needs and goals. If they aren't butting heads, it won't work.
It's like the character in an upcoming book I'm editing about a warrior woman - she's alone for so long because none of the men are worthy of her. She doesn't exactly say it with those words or that attitude, but I know what she means. I believe it would be impossible for me to love a man I can't respect and look up to, and if I can kick their butt, sorry, I'm not interested. Most women would feel the same way. But say you have a woman who is a better warrior paired with a man who is a wizard with awesome powers and intellect, but whom she doesn't seem to respect because she can win a physical battle with him? How would you work them out? Maybe you have her being the physical one and him being the brains one, which can lead to resentment on both sides, and also some delicious conflict. Maybe he needs stronger magic to counteract that physical weaker stance. Maybe something needs to happen where she sees all the passion and physical power in the world is useless without direction and control. There are all kinds of really cool directions you could take a story about a man teaching a very strong woman about control.
Okay, dialogue...
The biggest thing about dialogue is that in fiction, actions speak louder than words, but the dialogue is the life of the book. That's where you see a good book become great, and where you can also see a good book get killed by bad dialogue.
Angela Knight said something one time that kinda stuck with me when I read it... it's that we as writers are actors in our own heads, we're putting on plays in our heads, then typing them onto paper to share with others. So as we're adding dialogue, remember to have your "actor" constantly asking "What's my motivation?" Why are they saying what they are saying and when they are saying it? Your word choices can sound like lazy drawling chitchat over coffee, but every single word shows something about that character that's important, and you can't forget that.
Words are extremely important - word choices are crucial, and expressions can do your characterizations a huge disservice or hit a home run. For example... You have a group of people who witness a car accident. Every single one of them saw the same thing, but the way they express it will be different depending on who they are, what they do, and even where they were raised.
I might say, "Wow, that pickup knocked that Lexus into next week! Reckon anyone's hurt?"
One of my detective buddies might say, "Hmm...the number one vehicle ran the signal and hit the number two vehicle."
A child might notice colors and shapes and things they are used to picking out.
A cowboy might say, "That yokel just ruined a good pickup truck - git a rope."
They need to speak naturally, and their dialogue must be written taking into consideration who they are. You must also take who they are into consideration when writing their body movements, stance and posture. An ex-military man might stand ramrod straight, and be expected to be a bit anal about his things being in the correct place and in good repair. A cop might be slow to join into conversation, wary when it comes to meeting new people, and very conscious about his surroundings. A female computer tech might have her eyes immediately drawn to whatever computer or other technology is in the room, and might be a gadget freak, etc. A female medical professional might notice things about someone's looks that others wouldn't, like the fact their color is a bit bluer than normal or their breathing was a bit fast, might pay more attention to someone's comfort and notice when they are upset first.
So remember - characters are more than their sum parts. Characters should be like real people, they have past sorrows and triumphs, past friends and losses, lessons they've learned, training they've been through, and all of it has added up into the person they are in the story. You as an author are not going to be telling their whole history - that would make for a boring book. But you can never forget that all of that history makes them who they are, it affects how they react, how they see the world, how they speak, and you must let those things show in order for them to be believable.
What do you think is important about characters?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Plot
Okay....so today we're talking about plot, what it is, what it's not, what makes a good one, and how it can go wrong.
What do you think plot is? I mean the standard definition is that it's whatever happens in a story... but does that mean every scene is part of the plot?
Plot is the significant events that build a given story. Does that mean every scene is part of the plot? Notice I said “significant” events... For example, if your character is washing her kitchen windows, that can be a scene, but it's not part of the plot necessarily. But if your character's house is about to be burglarized and the fingerprints that catch the suspect are left on those clean kitchen windows, then washing them could be part of the plot. Does that make sense?
In the best books, every single scene moves the plot forward. If you have scenes that don't move the plot, it slows down the momentum. Some people will argue and say well, in print or longer single title works, you can have scenes that are descriptive, part of setting the scene or character/world building. But if you think about it, those things are part of the plot - you can’t have a story without a world and characters, so they have a significant place in the plot. However, it is my belief that no matter what type of work it is, every scene should be of concern to you as a writer, and you should make sure that scene keeps the reader’s attention while it gives information. If you bore the reader with too much information, even information you feel important, they might lose interest and even quit reading.
Think of it this way.... when you go to a party, and something happens, say a fight or a romance or any significant event, do you, as an observer, need to know what shaving lotion the man is wearing? Do you need to know his parents' names? Do you need to know she bought three dresses before she could decide on which one to wear? When we meet people, we take them at face value, and we can come to care about them without knowing everything about them. You give just enough to build a character sketch, but not their life's history, enough to hook the reader into caring about them or what happens to them, but you want to keep the action going and keep the reader interested.
Action will keep the reader engaged more effectively than anything else. And action can be a dinner out and SIGNIFICANT conversation over the table, a fight scene, whatever, but things have to be happening, and the reader has to be learning what's going on from things that are happening, not things they are being told by description. And be careful - new writers sometimes use the dinner scene to have a conversation to introduce information they want the reader to have that isn’t necessary. The reader isn’t interested in learning why a character acts the way they do by hearing them tell their life’s story over dinner. They are interested in learning what makes a character tick by how they react when things happen to them. Action, action, action. Keep in mind - a reader is always looking for a good place to stop, where they can be satisfied with quitting reading and going to bed or going to make dinner or going to do laundry or whatever, and you don't want to give them one. You want them to be so embroiled in the action of your story, so hooked into what is happening to your characters, that they don’t dare stop.
Now, you can use the dinner table to impart important information. In a book I just finished editing, there's a scene of dinner over a table at Denny's, well actually coffee... and it's terrific. On one side of the table, you have two vampires, male and female lovers, and on the other side of the table are two vampire slayers, male and female, and the vampires are trying to convince the vampire slayers to help them rescue someone. The conversation, the way the two males glower at each other while the women try to keep the peace, while a truce is being set up and they almost come to blows several times as the conversation goes back and forth - it's a great scene for both working out the working hierarchy and showing character, so it can be done. It is my opinion as a reader that I want every scene to teach me something about where the story is going and how it's going to get there.
So, what makes a scene or story worth caring about to your reader? For the reader to care, there has to be something at stake, something of value to be gained or lost. And there should actually be at least two things at stake, an external one, like a bad guy to be defeated, and an internal one, like too much pride to be overcome. And scenes aren't just random, they should all have reasons, something to show the reader that is important to the story, either to the internal conflict, or the external one. And the biggest thing, I believe, that makes a story more interesting, is that the thing at stake is extremely important, and that the battle to win it isn't fair. If you think about it, when you get something without having to fight for it, you don't value it as much. And when you do everything right, you don't learn a lot. We learn the most by fighting against very high odds and making lots of mistakes. That's what makes life and a good story interesting. When you make mistakes, you are putting yourself out there knowing you don't know it all and willing to take the chance because something you want is more important and you are willing to go after it even knowing you might fail. That is what makes a story. And you learn way more from mistakes than you ever learn by doing something right.
Do you ever plot, then it takes off in another direction? What do you do? Redirect or go with the flow? I think learning to be flexible when you are writing is part of having "living" characters - they learn something that changes their choices, or changes their minds, and you have to allow for that, I think, for the story and character to stay true. You can plot all day long, but when you sit down and write the story, something can happen that makes your plot not work, you may find a flaw in the logic, or something the character does that doesn't seem "human", and you have to allow for that. I think if the plot/story is forced into its twists and turns, it feels forced. Things happen and if you try to remain too rigid, you lose the spontaneous emotion and reaction that elicits amazing, and true, things to the writing.
For plotting, I’m a mix of pantster and plotter. I make what I call my outline, but it’s basically a list of scenes I've planned to get my characters from here to there, but how the scenes hook together is up in the air and allowed to just happen. I do number them, and I'll do a. b. c. under them if I have specific points I want to make sure that scene includes. But I allow for my characters to be human, to make mistakes and have to go back and fix them, to inject their personalities and take the story in a bit of a different direction than I’d planned.
Okay, so where's the best place to start a story and why? Right in the middle of the action, especially if the story is about how a character reacts to something. You start with the beginning of the reaction, not the original instigating action. A good beginning has to do 3 things - first get the story going and show what kind of story it's going to be. Second, it has to introduce and characterize the protagonist. And third it has to engage the reader. One of the worst things is to bog the beginning down with description. If you need description, do it after it gets going, not at the beginning.
Happy Writing!
Georgia
What do you think plot is? I mean the standard definition is that it's whatever happens in a story... but does that mean every scene is part of the plot?
Plot is the significant events that build a given story. Does that mean every scene is part of the plot? Notice I said “significant” events... For example, if your character is washing her kitchen windows, that can be a scene, but it's not part of the plot necessarily. But if your character's house is about to be burglarized and the fingerprints that catch the suspect are left on those clean kitchen windows, then washing them could be part of the plot. Does that make sense?
In the best books, every single scene moves the plot forward. If you have scenes that don't move the plot, it slows down the momentum. Some people will argue and say well, in print or longer single title works, you can have scenes that are descriptive, part of setting the scene or character/world building. But if you think about it, those things are part of the plot - you can’t have a story without a world and characters, so they have a significant place in the plot. However, it is my belief that no matter what type of work it is, every scene should be of concern to you as a writer, and you should make sure that scene keeps the reader’s attention while it gives information. If you bore the reader with too much information, even information you feel important, they might lose interest and even quit reading.
Think of it this way.... when you go to a party, and something happens, say a fight or a romance or any significant event, do you, as an observer, need to know what shaving lotion the man is wearing? Do you need to know his parents' names? Do you need to know she bought three dresses before she could decide on which one to wear? When we meet people, we take them at face value, and we can come to care about them without knowing everything about them. You give just enough to build a character sketch, but not their life's history, enough to hook the reader into caring about them or what happens to them, but you want to keep the action going and keep the reader interested.
Action will keep the reader engaged more effectively than anything else. And action can be a dinner out and SIGNIFICANT conversation over the table, a fight scene, whatever, but things have to be happening, and the reader has to be learning what's going on from things that are happening, not things they are being told by description. And be careful - new writers sometimes use the dinner scene to have a conversation to introduce information they want the reader to have that isn’t necessary. The reader isn’t interested in learning why a character acts the way they do by hearing them tell their life’s story over dinner. They are interested in learning what makes a character tick by how they react when things happen to them. Action, action, action. Keep in mind - a reader is always looking for a good place to stop, where they can be satisfied with quitting reading and going to bed or going to make dinner or going to do laundry or whatever, and you don't want to give them one. You want them to be so embroiled in the action of your story, so hooked into what is happening to your characters, that they don’t dare stop.
Now, you can use the dinner table to impart important information. In a book I just finished editing, there's a scene of dinner over a table at Denny's, well actually coffee... and it's terrific. On one side of the table, you have two vampires, male and female lovers, and on the other side of the table are two vampire slayers, male and female, and the vampires are trying to convince the vampire slayers to help them rescue someone. The conversation, the way the two males glower at each other while the women try to keep the peace, while a truce is being set up and they almost come to blows several times as the conversation goes back and forth - it's a great scene for both working out the working hierarchy and showing character, so it can be done. It is my opinion as a reader that I want every scene to teach me something about where the story is going and how it's going to get there.
So, what makes a scene or story worth caring about to your reader? For the reader to care, there has to be something at stake, something of value to be gained or lost. And there should actually be at least two things at stake, an external one, like a bad guy to be defeated, and an internal one, like too much pride to be overcome. And scenes aren't just random, they should all have reasons, something to show the reader that is important to the story, either to the internal conflict, or the external one. And the biggest thing, I believe, that makes a story more interesting, is that the thing at stake is extremely important, and that the battle to win it isn't fair. If you think about it, when you get something without having to fight for it, you don't value it as much. And when you do everything right, you don't learn a lot. We learn the most by fighting against very high odds and making lots of mistakes. That's what makes life and a good story interesting. When you make mistakes, you are putting yourself out there knowing you don't know it all and willing to take the chance because something you want is more important and you are willing to go after it even knowing you might fail. That is what makes a story. And you learn way more from mistakes than you ever learn by doing something right.
Do you ever plot, then it takes off in another direction? What do you do? Redirect or go with the flow? I think learning to be flexible when you are writing is part of having "living" characters - they learn something that changes their choices, or changes their minds, and you have to allow for that, I think, for the story and character to stay true. You can plot all day long, but when you sit down and write the story, something can happen that makes your plot not work, you may find a flaw in the logic, or something the character does that doesn't seem "human", and you have to allow for that. I think if the plot/story is forced into its twists and turns, it feels forced. Things happen and if you try to remain too rigid, you lose the spontaneous emotion and reaction that elicits amazing, and true, things to the writing.
For plotting, I’m a mix of pantster and plotter. I make what I call my outline, but it’s basically a list of scenes I've planned to get my characters from here to there, but how the scenes hook together is up in the air and allowed to just happen. I do number them, and I'll do a. b. c. under them if I have specific points I want to make sure that scene includes. But I allow for my characters to be human, to make mistakes and have to go back and fix them, to inject their personalities and take the story in a bit of a different direction than I’d planned.
Okay, so where's the best place to start a story and why? Right in the middle of the action, especially if the story is about how a character reacts to something. You start with the beginning of the reaction, not the original instigating action. A good beginning has to do 3 things - first get the story going and show what kind of story it's going to be. Second, it has to introduce and characterize the protagonist. And third it has to engage the reader. One of the worst things is to bog the beginning down with description. If you need description, do it after it gets going, not at the beginning.
Happy Writing!
Georgia
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Comma Primer
I'm like the very worst blogger - I have 2 active loops that I coordinate, 2 others I have to be very active in, and on and on, and it seems my stuff, like my web site and my blog, always gets shoved to the bottom of the list. So I'm going to take the lazy way out and post something I wrote for another loop. But it got some good comments, so maybe you'll find it helpful.
Okay, today we’re going to talk about commas. Some of you use a lot of them, and I take them back out and some of you seldom use them, and I add them - it's an editor thing. I actually do this to see if you are paying attention, and to drive you batty... just kidding. But there are rules to using commas, and I think it’s important to know the rules before you decide to break them. This is one of the areas where you as the author, and I as the editor, will win the argument over the line editor or proof reader IF it is a matter of style and we have solid reasons behind what we want to do. The trick is to use commas and other punctuation as traffic signals, slowing and speeding the reader’s pace to fit with the scenes. You don’t want to go too far from the norm so that the reader actually notices and it pulls them right out of the story, but you can subtly change the reader’s mood and concentration, which is very useful for keeping them focused inside the world you’ve worked so hard to create.
First, there are some places we will always require commas per house rules, like using serial or Oxford commas in a series or list, such as “I want to someday see Paris, London, and the Scottish Highlands. Standard comma use would leave out the comma before the conjunction “and”, but Loose Id prefers, and I agree, that depending on the sentence, leaving out that comma would change the meaning. Look at these two sentences:
She took a photograph of her parents, the president, and the vice president.
She took a photograph of her parents, the president and the vice president.
In the first sentence, it is understood she took three photographs, one of her parents, one of the president, and one of the vice president. In the second sentence, just removing that comma makes it read as if saying her parents WERE the president and vice president, and she took one photo of the two of them. That’s why we prefer Oxford commas - they leave no room for misunderstanding.
In fiction, we leave out the commas in many of the places where you’d use one in standard writing, like technical writing or letters or other written documents. During descriptions, like saying “the lean, smooth, worn-handled blade” would have the commas removed to keep from slowing down the momentum, especially in action scenes. I’m sure you’ve probably noticed that sometimes I’ll take out a comma in a description like above, and sometimes I leave it in, and maybe you wondered why. When that happens, look at the scene we’re in and see if you can figure out why I removed it or added it. If we’re in the middle of an action scene, we want the reader galloping along, moving fast with the scene, and too many commas slow down the reader. If we are in a scene where a lazy feather is floating along on a summer breeze, we might want them to slow down and feel the mood of the scene. They are much like a caution sign on the roadway, telling the reader where to slow down and pay attention.
If you have any questions about commas and their use, please ask.
Here’s what CMOS says about comma usage – these are the basic most common usages and rules:
6.19Comma needed
Items in a series are normally separated by commas (but see 6.60 ). When a conjunction joins the last two elements in a series, a comma—known as the serial or series comma or the Oxford comma—should appear before the conjunction. Chicago strongly recommends this widely practiced usage, blessed by Fowler and other authorities (see bibliog. 1.2 ), since it prevents ambiguity. If the last element consists of a pair joined by and, the pair should still be preceded by a serial comma and the first and (see the last two examples below).
She took a photograph of her parents, the president, and the vice president.
The owner, the agent, and the tenant were having an argument.
I want no ifs, ands, or buts.
Paul put the kettle on, Don fetched the teapot, and I made tea.
The meal consisted of soup, salad, and macaroni and cheese.
John was working, Jean was resting, and Alan was running errands and furnishing food.
6.20Comma not needed
In a series whose elements are all joined by conjunctions, no commas are needed unless the elements are long and pauses helpful.
Is it by Snodgrass or Shapiro or Brooks?
You can turn left at the second fountain and right when you reach the temple, or turn left at the third fountain and left again at the statue of Venus, or just ask a local person how to get there.
6.25Introductory phrase with comma
An adverbial or participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence is usually followed by a comma, especially if a slight pause is intended. A single word or a very short introductory phrase does not require a comma except to avoid misreading.
After reading the note, Henrietta turned pale.
On the other hand, his vices could be considered virtues.
Exhausted by the morning’s work, she lay down for a nap.
Having eaten the cat’s dinner, Fido ate his own.
On Tuesday he tried to see the mayor.
but
Before eating, the members of the committee met in the assembly room.
To Anthony, Blake remained an enigma.
6.26Introductory phrase without comma
A comma is not used after an introductory adverbial or participial phrase that immediately precedes the verb it modifies.
Out of the Mercedes stepped the woman we were looking for.
Running along behind the wagon was the archduke himself!
6.27“Oh” and “ah”
A comma follows an exclamatory oh or ah only if a slight pause is intended. No comma follows vocative oh or (mainly poetic and largely archaic) O. See also 5.197 .
“Oh, what a beautiful mornin’ . . .”
Ah, here we are at last!
Oh no! Ah yes! Oh yeah?
Oh mighty king!
“O wild West Wind . . .”
6.28Direct address
A comma follows names or words used in direct address and informal correspondence.
Ms. Jones, will you please take a seat.
Friends, I am not here to discuss personalities.
Ma’am, your order is ready.
Dear Judy,
6.29“Yes,” “no,” and the like
A comma usually follows yes, no, well, and the like, at the beginning of a sentence if a slight pause is intended.
Yes, I admit that Benson’s plan has gained a following.
No, that item is not on the agenda.
Well then, we shall have to take a vote.
but
No no no!
6.30Parenthetical elements
Commas set off parenthetical elements if a slight break is intended. If a stronger break is needed or if there are commas within the parenthetical element, em dashes (6.88 ) or parentheses (6.97 ) should be used. An adverb essential to the meaning of the clause (as in the last two examples below) should not be enclosed in commas. See also 5.202 under that; which.
This, indeed, was exactly what Scali had feared would happen.
All the test animals, therefore, were reexamined.
We shall, however, take up the matter at a later date.
The Hooligan Report was, to say the least, a bombshell.
Wolinski, after receiving his instructions, left immediately for Algiers.
The most provocative, if not the most important, part of the statement came last.
Her words were true, if not compelling.
This road leads away from, rather than toward, your destination.
She knew that, in the end, truth would prevail.
but
The storehouse was indeed empty.
Two students cheated and were therefore disqualified.
6.32Conjunctions between clauses
When independent clauses are joined by and, but, or, so, yet, or any other conjunction, a comma usually precedes the conjunction. If the clauses are very short and closely connected, the comma may be omitted. (For the use of a semicolon between independent clauses, see 6.57 .)
We bolted the door, but the intruder was already inside.
Everyone present was startled by the news, and one man fainted.
Do we want to preserve law and order, or are we interested only in our property?
The bus never came, so we took a taxi.
but
Timothy played the guitar and Betty sang.
6.33Conjunctions in a series
When a sentence is composed of a series of short independent clauses with a conjunction joining the last two, commas should appear both between the clauses and before the conjunction (see 6.19 ).
Donald cooked, Sally trimmed the tree, and Maddie and Cammie offered hors d’oeuvres.
If independent clauses in a series themselves contain commas, they should be separated by semicolons (see 6.60 ).
6.34Compound predicate
A comma is not normally used between the parts of a compound predicate—that is, two or more verbs having the same subject, as distinct from two independent clauses—though it may occasionally be needed to avoid misreading or to indicate a pause.
He had accompanied Sanford and had volunteered to write the report.
Kelleher tried to see the mayor but was told he was out of town.
but
She recognized the man who entered the room, and gasped.
6.35Comma preceding main clause
A dependent clause that precedes a main clause should be followed by a comma.
If you accept our conditions, we shall agree to the proposal.
6.36Comma following main clause
A dependent clause that follows a main clause should not be preceded by a comma if it is restrictive, that is, essential to the meaning of the main clause. If it is merely supplementary or parenthetical, it should be preceded by a comma. (Note that the distinction is occasionally tenuous; if in doubt, use a comma to indicate a pause.)
We will agree to the proposal if you accept our conditions.
Paul was astonished when he heard the terms.
He didn’t run because he was afraid; he ran because it had started to rain.
but
She ought to be promoted, if you want my opinion.
At last she arrived, when the food was cold.
He didn’t run, because he was afraid to move.
6.38Restrictive and nonrestrictive
A relative clause that is restrictive—that is, essential to the meaning of the sentence—is neither preceded nor followed by a comma. But a relative clause that could be omitted without essential loss of meaning (a nonrestrictive clause) should be both preceded and (if the sentence continues) followed by a comma. Although which can be used restrictively, many careful writers preserve the distinction between restrictive that (no commas) and nonrestrictive which (commas). (The word that may be omitted in contexts that are clear without it.) See also 5.202 under that; which.
The report that the committee submitted was well documented.
The book I have just finished is due back tomorrow; the others can wait.
That is the woman who mistook my coat for hers.
but
The report, which was well documented, was submitted to the committee.
This book, which I finished last night, is due back tomorrow.
The woman, who was extremely embarrassed, returned my coat.
6.51Comma indicating ellipsis
A comma is often used to indicate the omission of a word or words readily understood from the context.
In Illinois there are seventeen such schools; in Ohio, twenty; in Indiana, thirteen.
Thousands rushed to serve him in victory; in defeat, none.
The comma may be omitted if the elliptical construction is clear without it.
One child is good at composition, another at mathematics, and the third at sports.
Ronald adored her and she him.
If you have questions, feel free to ask.
Hugs!!
Georgia
Okay, today we’re going to talk about commas. Some of you use a lot of them, and I take them back out and some of you seldom use them, and I add them - it's an editor thing. I actually do this to see if you are paying attention, and to drive you batty... just kidding. But there are rules to using commas, and I think it’s important to know the rules before you decide to break them. This is one of the areas where you as the author, and I as the editor, will win the argument over the line editor or proof reader IF it is a matter of style and we have solid reasons behind what we want to do. The trick is to use commas and other punctuation as traffic signals, slowing and speeding the reader’s pace to fit with the scenes. You don’t want to go too far from the norm so that the reader actually notices and it pulls them right out of the story, but you can subtly change the reader’s mood and concentration, which is very useful for keeping them focused inside the world you’ve worked so hard to create.
First, there are some places we will always require commas per house rules, like using serial or Oxford commas in a series or list, such as “I want to someday see Paris, London, and the Scottish Highlands. Standard comma use would leave out the comma before the conjunction “and”, but Loose Id prefers, and I agree, that depending on the sentence, leaving out that comma would change the meaning. Look at these two sentences:
She took a photograph of her parents, the president, and the vice president.
She took a photograph of her parents, the president and the vice president.
In the first sentence, it is understood she took three photographs, one of her parents, one of the president, and one of the vice president. In the second sentence, just removing that comma makes it read as if saying her parents WERE the president and vice president, and she took one photo of the two of them. That’s why we prefer Oxford commas - they leave no room for misunderstanding.
In fiction, we leave out the commas in many of the places where you’d use one in standard writing, like technical writing or letters or other written documents. During descriptions, like saying “the lean, smooth, worn-handled blade” would have the commas removed to keep from slowing down the momentum, especially in action scenes. I’m sure you’ve probably noticed that sometimes I’ll take out a comma in a description like above, and sometimes I leave it in, and maybe you wondered why. When that happens, look at the scene we’re in and see if you can figure out why I removed it or added it. If we’re in the middle of an action scene, we want the reader galloping along, moving fast with the scene, and too many commas slow down the reader. If we are in a scene where a lazy feather is floating along on a summer breeze, we might want them to slow down and feel the mood of the scene. They are much like a caution sign on the roadway, telling the reader where to slow down and pay attention.
If you have any questions about commas and their use, please ask.
Here’s what CMOS says about comma usage – these are the basic most common usages and rules:
6.19Comma needed
Items in a series are normally separated by commas (but see 6.60
She took a photograph of her parents, the president, and the vice president.
The owner, the agent, and the tenant were having an argument.
I want no ifs, ands, or buts.
Paul put the kettle on, Don fetched the teapot, and I made tea.
The meal consisted of soup, salad, and macaroni and cheese.
John was working, Jean was resting, and Alan was running errands and furnishing food.
6.20Comma not needed
In a series whose elements are all joined by conjunctions, no commas are needed unless the elements are long and pauses helpful.
Is it by Snodgrass or Shapiro or Brooks?
You can turn left at the second fountain and right when you reach the temple, or turn left at the third fountain and left again at the statue of Venus, or just ask a local person how to get there.
6.25Introductory phrase with comma
An adverbial or participial phrase at the beginning of a sentence is usually followed by a comma, especially if a slight pause is intended. A single word or a very short introductory phrase does not require a comma except to avoid misreading.
After reading the note, Henrietta turned pale.
On the other hand, his vices could be considered virtues.
Exhausted by the morning’s work, she lay down for a nap.
Having eaten the cat’s dinner, Fido ate his own.
On Tuesday he tried to see the mayor.
but
Before eating, the members of the committee met in the assembly room.
To Anthony, Blake remained an enigma.
6.26Introductory phrase without comma
A comma is not used after an introductory adverbial or participial phrase that immediately precedes the verb it modifies.
Out of the Mercedes stepped the woman we were looking for.
Running along behind the wagon was the archduke himself!
6.27“Oh” and “ah”
A comma follows an exclamatory oh or ah only if a slight pause is intended. No comma follows vocative oh or (mainly poetic and largely archaic) O. See also 5.197
“Oh, what a beautiful mornin’ . . .”
Ah, here we are at last!
Oh no! Ah yes! Oh yeah?
Oh mighty king!
“O wild West Wind . . .”
6.28Direct address
A comma follows names or words used in direct address and informal correspondence.
Ms. Jones, will you please take a seat.
Friends, I am not here to discuss personalities.
Ma’am, your order is ready.
Dear Judy,
6.29“Yes,” “no,” and the like
A comma usually follows yes, no, well, and the like, at the beginning of a sentence if a slight pause is intended.
Yes, I admit that Benson’s plan has gained a following.
No, that item is not on the agenda.
Well then, we shall have to take a vote.
but
No no no!
6.30Parenthetical elements
Commas set off parenthetical elements if a slight break is intended. If a stronger break is needed or if there are commas within the parenthetical element, em dashes (6.88
This, indeed, was exactly what Scali had feared would happen.
All the test animals, therefore, were reexamined.
We shall, however, take up the matter at a later date.
The Hooligan Report was, to say the least, a bombshell.
Wolinski, after receiving his instructions, left immediately for Algiers.
The most provocative, if not the most important, part of the statement came last.
Her words were true, if not compelling.
This road leads away from, rather than toward, your destination.
She knew that, in the end, truth would prevail.
but
The storehouse was indeed empty.
Two students cheated and were therefore disqualified.
6.32Conjunctions between clauses
When independent clauses are joined by and, but, or, so, yet, or any other conjunction, a comma usually precedes the conjunction. If the clauses are very short and closely connected, the comma may be omitted. (For the use of a semicolon between independent clauses, see 6.57
We bolted the door, but the intruder was already inside.
Everyone present was startled by the news, and one man fainted.
Do we want to preserve law and order, or are we interested only in our property?
The bus never came, so we took a taxi.
but
Timothy played the guitar and Betty sang.
6.33Conjunctions in a series
When a sentence is composed of a series of short independent clauses with a conjunction joining the last two, commas should appear both between the clauses and before the conjunction (see 6.19
Donald cooked, Sally trimmed the tree, and Maddie and Cammie offered hors d’oeuvres.
If independent clauses in a series themselves contain commas, they should be separated by semicolons (see 6.60
6.34Compound predicate
A comma is not normally used between the parts of a compound predicate—that is, two or more verbs having the same subject, as distinct from two independent clauses—though it may occasionally be needed to avoid misreading or to indicate a pause.
He had accompanied Sanford and had volunteered to write the report.
Kelleher tried to see the mayor but was told he was out of town.
but
She recognized the man who entered the room, and gasped.
6.35Comma preceding main clause
A dependent clause that precedes a main clause should be followed by a comma.
If you accept our conditions, we shall agree to the proposal.
6.36Comma following main clause
A dependent clause that follows a main clause should not be preceded by a comma if it is restrictive, that is, essential to the meaning of the main clause. If it is merely supplementary or parenthetical, it should be preceded by a comma. (Note that the distinction is occasionally tenuous; if in doubt, use a comma to indicate a pause.)
We will agree to the proposal if you accept our conditions.
Paul was astonished when he heard the terms.
He didn’t run because he was afraid; he ran because it had started to rain.
but
She ought to be promoted, if you want my opinion.
At last she arrived, when the food was cold.
He didn’t run, because he was afraid to move.
6.38Restrictive and nonrestrictive
A relative clause that is restrictive—that is, essential to the meaning of the sentence—is neither preceded nor followed by a comma. But a relative clause that could be omitted without essential loss of meaning (a nonrestrictive clause) should be both preceded and (if the sentence continues) followed by a comma. Although which can be used restrictively, many careful writers preserve the distinction between restrictive that (no commas) and nonrestrictive which (commas). (The word that may be omitted in contexts that are clear without it.) See also 5.202
The report that the committee submitted was well documented.
The book I have just finished is due back tomorrow; the others can wait.
That is the woman who mistook my coat for hers.
but
The report, which was well documented, was submitted to the committee.
This book, which I finished last night, is due back tomorrow.
The woman, who was extremely embarrassed, returned my coat.
6.51Comma indicating ellipsis
A comma is often used to indicate the omission of a word or words readily understood from the context.
In Illinois there are seventeen such schools; in Ohio, twenty; in Indiana, thirteen.
Thousands rushed to serve him in victory; in defeat, none.
The comma may be omitted if the elliptical construction is clear without it.
One child is good at composition, another at mathematics, and the third at sports.
Ronald adored her and she him.
If you have questions, feel free to ask.
Hugs!!
Georgia
Monday, July 21, 2008
Summer Monsoons
For those of you who don't live in or know much about life in the Desert Southwest, let me tell you about summer monsoon season. It's the time of year when the humidity gets high and storms build and we actually have rain. Since we only get an average of 7" per year, perhaps you can understand when I say when we get an inch or two all at one time falling on hard-baked desert floor, we have floods, the kind where cars go floating off roads and washes get full and overflow into houses. In the Arizona desert, we have dry riverbeds all over the place, the Agua Fria River, the Salt River, you name it. And they are dry sometimes 1/8th mile or wider ditches with bridges over them. Then when it rains, you see why - from dry ditch to raging river very quickly, and they are very dangerous places to be.
Then we have dust storms, which is like a really bad storm with no rain, but dust flies worse than any downpour. If you live in Texas or Oklahoma or other western states, you may have seen one of these suckers. I saw my first one many years ago when I lived in San Angelo, Texas for a year, and it scared the bejeebers out of me. Picture a wall of dust as high as the clouds coming barreling down on you, and when it hits, it's got 50+ mph winds behind it and you can't see anything, grit comes under the windows and doors and litters the house, and all you smell is dirt. It rages for ten minutes to an hour or more, then suddenly dies and the sun comes out. Very eerie and scary, and it blows any of your stuff that's not tied down to hell and gone, tears up your yard and trees and landscaping, and leaves you cleaning up the mess for days.
The bad part is that when we have storms during monsoon season, you never know which of these types of storms is coming. All you can do is batten down the hatches and hope for the best. One day, you come home to a flooded yard and the next to broken trees and lawn chairs in the pool. I figure it's the price we pay for having sunshine almost every day of the year - we average about 325 days of sunshine a year, and somehow or other we have to earn that. Guess we pay for it with our high insurance premiums and the chance to re-landscape our house every other summer. If we're lucky, we'll only have plants and small yard items like chairs and tables to replace. If we aren't lucky, we might find a palm tree or cactus on our car or house. And for those of you who don't know, a cactus falling on your car smashes it totally flat - a saguaro cactus might reach 50 feet in height, weigh up to 10 tons, and live to the age of 150 to 200 years.
But the up side is that we have some of the most vivid storms and sunsets on the planet. Figured I'd share a few of them with you - click on the link, then click on the slideshow:
http://www.azcentral.com/weather/weatherphotos.html?collectionId=858
So, cleaning up my yard is what I've been doing every night after work lately. What have you been up to?
Hugs!!
Georgia
Then we have dust storms, which is like a really bad storm with no rain, but dust flies worse than any downpour. If you live in Texas or Oklahoma or other western states, you may have seen one of these suckers. I saw my first one many years ago when I lived in San Angelo, Texas for a year, and it scared the bejeebers out of me. Picture a wall of dust as high as the clouds coming barreling down on you, and when it hits, it's got 50+ mph winds behind it and you can't see anything, grit comes under the windows and doors and litters the house, and all you smell is dirt. It rages for ten minutes to an hour or more, then suddenly dies and the sun comes out. Very eerie and scary, and it blows any of your stuff that's not tied down to hell and gone, tears up your yard and trees and landscaping, and leaves you cleaning up the mess for days.
The bad part is that when we have storms during monsoon season, you never know which of these types of storms is coming. All you can do is batten down the hatches and hope for the best. One day, you come home to a flooded yard and the next to broken trees and lawn chairs in the pool. I figure it's the price we pay for having sunshine almost every day of the year - we average about 325 days of sunshine a year, and somehow or other we have to earn that. Guess we pay for it with our high insurance premiums and the chance to re-landscape our house every other summer. If we're lucky, we'll only have plants and small yard items like chairs and tables to replace. If we aren't lucky, we might find a palm tree or cactus on our car or house. And for those of you who don't know, a cactus falling on your car smashes it totally flat - a saguaro cactus might reach 50 feet in height, weigh up to 10 tons, and live to the age of 150 to 200 years.
But the up side is that we have some of the most vivid storms and sunsets on the planet. Figured I'd share a few of them with you - click on the link, then click on the slideshow:
http://www.azcentral.com/weather/weatherphotos.html?collectionId=858
So, cleaning up my yard is what I've been doing every night after work lately. What have you been up to?
Hugs!!
Georgia
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
What's Georgia Up To???
Well, the answer to that is not much...I go to work, I come home, I edit a while, I go to bed, I get up, I go to work...well you see the problem here. Worked a couple of shootings on my day job yesterday, but that's certainly not something you all want to hear about. So what to talk about?
Hmm... well, I did do a stupid on the 4th of July - had a bit of a gathering at my house, barbeque and pool party. Was carrying food outside and stuck my cell phone in the strap of my swimsuit to free up my hands for carrying stuff - no pockets in the swimsuit...I know, very inconvenient. Anyways, forgot it was there and went swimming with it, so had to get a new phone. Got one of those techie things with the slide out keyboard, cool but the keys are so tiny it's hard to use them, so I just use the regular keys and the T9Word feature to do messages... I get drawn toward the high tech stuff, then disappointed when it doesn't work well.
On the editing front, working on some really cool stories you guys will love. A few are M/M, several are erotic romance, with a paranormal and a were story thrown in here and there. Also have been reading a few really good books, including Gena Showalter's "Lords of the Underworld" series - wow, hot sexy stories. Also going to read Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series coming up - she lives here in the Phoenix area, so have to be a fan. And next up will be Barry Eisler's "Rain" series. Just finished Linda Howard's new one Death Angel, and I was disappointed... enough said about that. She's one of my favorites of all time, so I can deal with it...
Also finally broke down and bought a Kindle even though I'm still really torqued at Amazon...do you have one? What do you think?
Hugs!!
Georgia
Hmm... well, I did do a stupid on the 4th of July - had a bit of a gathering at my house, barbeque and pool party. Was carrying food outside and stuck my cell phone in the strap of my swimsuit to free up my hands for carrying stuff - no pockets in the swimsuit...I know, very inconvenient. Anyways, forgot it was there and went swimming with it, so had to get a new phone. Got one of those techie things with the slide out keyboard, cool but the keys are so tiny it's hard to use them, so I just use the regular keys and the T9Word feature to do messages... I get drawn toward the high tech stuff, then disappointed when it doesn't work well.
On the editing front, working on some really cool stories you guys will love. A few are M/M, several are erotic romance, with a paranormal and a were story thrown in here and there. Also have been reading a few really good books, including Gena Showalter's "Lords of the Underworld" series - wow, hot sexy stories. Also going to read Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series coming up - she lives here in the Phoenix area, so have to be a fan. And next up will be Barry Eisler's "Rain" series. Just finished Linda Howard's new one Death Angel, and I was disappointed... enough said about that. She's one of my favorites of all time, so I can deal with it...
Also finally broke down and bought a Kindle even though I'm still really torqued at Amazon...do you have one? What do you think?
Hugs!!
Georgia
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Short and Sweet - couple of links for you...
A few of my author friends and I just started a new group blog - drop by and set a spell at Georgia's Crossroads Cafe.
Wanna hear the ins and outs of how authors earn money, and when you, as an author, will be afford to quit your day job? Here's one of the best explanations I've ever seen.
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer!
Georgia
Wanna hear the ins and outs of how authors earn money, and when you, as an author, will be afford to quit your day job? Here's one of the best explanations I've ever seen.
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer!
Georgia
Friday, May 30, 2008
To resub or not to resub...THAT is the question...
Have you ever received a rejection that gave detailed suggestions and constructive criticism, then wondered whether you should address the issues raised and resubmit, or you should just send them something else? Well, here's my take on that, and while all editors' correspondence is not the same, you can use some of the things I say to look for hints in their letters that tell you what to do. However, when in doubt, if you think your story is good and fits their market and guidelines, revise and resubmit - the worst that can happen is you get another rejection.
First of all, if your story doesn't fit publisher guidelines or I just didn't find it marketable, I'll tell you that. I'll say it didn't fit guidelines, which means it simply doesn't work for us, and usually I'll wish you best of luck in finding a home for it. That means it's not a book I feel we can use, for whatever reason, and I don't see it being one without rewriting it. That does not mean it's not a good book, nor does it necessarily mean I didn't like it. It simply means it doesn't fit what we're looking for unless I give you more information than that. I may give you reasons why it doesn't work, and may even give you suggestions of how to address something I felt lacking, if that's the case, but I won't say I'd love to see it again unless it's true.
On the other hand, some manuscripts I get fit the guidelines, have a lot of potential, I like the writing or the premise or the characters, and I found the story engaging, but there was something about it that made me decide not to accept. Any book I accept is also attached to an author I'm adding to my roster to work with on a permanent basis. If your web site hasn't been updated since 1999 when you were writing fanfic and your goal in life was to be a actor, I might think twice about how committed you are to a writing career. Writing is hard work and not something to dabble in.
Or maybe your story has mechanical issues, too many to want to fix in edits. Keep in mind that editors don't make a lot of money and have limited time to spend on each book - if I read your book and realize it's going to take hours and hours and hours of work because of the number of grammatical, spelling, punctuation, and other mechanical errors, I'm likely to choose this other book that may only have a slow beginning or a flawed ending rather than your book. I'll send your book back and advise you to fix the mechanics and resubmit because the mechanical issues are the writer's job while mine is to look at content. I want to focus on whether the beginning hooks the reader, is the pacing right, does each scene move the plot forward, are the characters fleshed out and clearly drawn, does the middle drag and does the ending satisfy... Yes, I fix typos and grammar and punctuation, and I don't expect your manuscript to be perfect - I've never seen one that was. But I can't afford to spend hours and hours on a manuscript where the author clearly wasn't interested in doing as perfect a job as he or she was capable of.
Maybe your book has a great premise, great characters, and a wonderful ending, but the middle is too slow. I'll send you a rejection that tells you that, gives suggestions on how to pick up the middle, maybe even making suggestions on plot twists to tighten it. Or the book is great but the hero seems too harsh and unlikeable - I'll tell you that, and I'll make suggestions on how to fix him. Either way, I'll also tell you I want to see your book again if you choose to address those issues, and I'll give you information on how to send it directly to me so you don't have to wade through the slush pile again.
Either way it happens, especially if it's your first book, I want to know if you have what it takes to be a writer - can you work with me and fix your book's flaws, do you want it bad enough to do the job, to work hard and learn to edit yourself better, to stick it out and address issues raised in a logical and agreeable manner. Some don't - some writers like their book the way it is and will submit elsewhere rather than work on what I feel their book needs. That's fine if you choose that route - some books are perfect the way they are, but some aren't. If you as a writer are unable to respond positively and constructively to editorial comments and direction, that's something I prefer to know up front because I'm going to do everything I can to make your book shine, and if I have to fight you to do that, we're not going to get very far.
Good luck with your submissions - I hope to see them in my inbox soon!
Georgia
First of all, if your story doesn't fit publisher guidelines or I just didn't find it marketable, I'll tell you that. I'll say it didn't fit guidelines, which means it simply doesn't work for us, and usually I'll wish you best of luck in finding a home for it. That means it's not a book I feel we can use, for whatever reason, and I don't see it being one without rewriting it. That does not mean it's not a good book, nor does it necessarily mean I didn't like it. It simply means it doesn't fit what we're looking for unless I give you more information than that. I may give you reasons why it doesn't work, and may even give you suggestions of how to address something I felt lacking, if that's the case, but I won't say I'd love to see it again unless it's true.
On the other hand, some manuscripts I get fit the guidelines, have a lot of potential, I like the writing or the premise or the characters, and I found the story engaging, but there was something about it that made me decide not to accept. Any book I accept is also attached to an author I'm adding to my roster to work with on a permanent basis. If your web site hasn't been updated since 1999 when you were writing fanfic and your goal in life was to be a actor, I might think twice about how committed you are to a writing career. Writing is hard work and not something to dabble in.
Or maybe your story has mechanical issues, too many to want to fix in edits. Keep in mind that editors don't make a lot of money and have limited time to spend on each book - if I read your book and realize it's going to take hours and hours and hours of work because of the number of grammatical, spelling, punctuation, and other mechanical errors, I'm likely to choose this other book that may only have a slow beginning or a flawed ending rather than your book. I'll send your book back and advise you to fix the mechanics and resubmit because the mechanical issues are the writer's job while mine is to look at content. I want to focus on whether the beginning hooks the reader, is the pacing right, does each scene move the plot forward, are the characters fleshed out and clearly drawn, does the middle drag and does the ending satisfy... Yes, I fix typos and grammar and punctuation, and I don't expect your manuscript to be perfect - I've never seen one that was. But I can't afford to spend hours and hours on a manuscript where the author clearly wasn't interested in doing as perfect a job as he or she was capable of.
Maybe your book has a great premise, great characters, and a wonderful ending, but the middle is too slow. I'll send you a rejection that tells you that, gives suggestions on how to pick up the middle, maybe even making suggestions on plot twists to tighten it. Or the book is great but the hero seems too harsh and unlikeable - I'll tell you that, and I'll make suggestions on how to fix him. Either way, I'll also tell you I want to see your book again if you choose to address those issues, and I'll give you information on how to send it directly to me so you don't have to wade through the slush pile again.
Either way it happens, especially if it's your first book, I want to know if you have what it takes to be a writer - can you work with me and fix your book's flaws, do you want it bad enough to do the job, to work hard and learn to edit yourself better, to stick it out and address issues raised in a logical and agreeable manner. Some don't - some writers like their book the way it is and will submit elsewhere rather than work on what I feel their book needs. That's fine if you choose that route - some books are perfect the way they are, but some aren't. If you as a writer are unable to respond positively and constructively to editorial comments and direction, that's something I prefer to know up front because I'm going to do everything I can to make your book shine, and if I have to fight you to do that, we're not going to get very far.
Good luck with your submissions - I hope to see them in my inbox soon!
Georgia
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I am a terrible blogger!!
Yes, it's true. I can't seem to get into the rhythm of blogging all the time, and I'll have to admit that, when I weigh it against all the editing and writing I have going on, it just doesn't end up as high on the priority list as the others things are. And I'm not sure I'm convinced that I have all that much interesting to say that people would actually wait for me to post to see what I wrote...There's way too many more important things going on in the world than listen to me. But in the next week, I will try to make an announcement or two, as well as write a decent article to post, and get it added...
Hugs!
Georgia
Hugs!
Georgia
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)